So long, it’s been good to know you…
This blog might seem a bit morbid and gross, but precious and few are the moments we share. In my earlier blog, I wrote about what would you do when faced with your own mortality. If you haven’t read it, I encourage you to do so. The entire blog is on my webpage http://klorraine.com.
By being mortal, we are susceptible to death by aging, sickness, injury, or wound. While immortal is not susceptible to death; living forever; never dying.
Mortal means we are human. A human is susceptible to death while immortal is one who is not susceptible to death.
Mortality, versus immortal is something we normally don’t think about. If we did, we surely would go insane.
I posted my earlier blog on FanStory. I’ve been rather overtaken by current events and I’ve not written anything lately. But, I thought it was a way to say, “So long, it’s been good to know you.”
The following are a few comments from some members who read my story. I’m humbled by their response.
This was beyond awesome. There are times when I think that it takes a brave person to write as you did. But then in your case it was brave, but more so it was truthful. Sometimes it is difficult to write about your losses or your faults if you have them. But it is also very rewarding. It allows your readers to see reality, to see your pain, to see your grief. I wish you luck with your treatment, I wish you happiness, I wish you the best. Thank you for sharing.
I knew four people who died from pancreatic cancer. May God walk with you through your journey. Comment Written 15-Jun-2017 by Phyllis Stewart
I read this with a lump in my throat. You are an amazing writer. And I take this opportunity to wish you happiness from the depth of my heart. Thank you for all the inspiration and may God bless you abundantly. Comment Written 14-Jun-2017 by Leena
Blessings to you, Lorraine. You are quite a lady and I enjoyed reading this post despite what you have shared. God leads us down our own private path and you are in my prayers. Marilyn. Comment Written 13-Jun-2017 by BeasPeas
I returned to my oncologist yesterday for the discussion about what to do next. The doctor showed us the film from my recent PET scan. The internal organs didn’t mean much to us at first. But when he pointed to the pancreas, my eyes opened wide.
The entire organ was shaded in gray, and a white half moon shape was visible. I thought the white spot was the tumor. The doctor’s eyes glazed over and he said, “I’m sorry dear. The gray is the tumor. And the white spot is the blood vessel.”
I gasped and commented, “It’s mammoth.”
I think you should get the picture…
The tumor measured 4.7 centimeters. And it is inoperable. The doctor said, “There is nothing that I can do. To put it bluntly, the reason you’re losing weight so rapidly is because of the tumor.”
The growth is an evil monster. It’s hungry. And it is consuming everything in sight. It is feeding on the nutrients from inside the body. It is depleting the blood cells. It is eating me alive from the inside out.
There isn’t any treatment plan that will save my life. I’ve been given three to six months to get my affairs in order.
No-one knows what God plans for us. He is the only one who knows the day of our birth and the day of our death.
The doctor has ordered home hospice care for me.
I’m asking that you keep me in your prayers. And please help me to reach my goal of 10,000 visits to my webpage. http://klorraine.com. The counter is currently at 9,439.
So long, it’s been good to know you.
Posted in Commentaries, Farewell, Friendship, k lorraine books, K. Lorraine, My Family | Comments (0)
A BLOG ABOUT DYING
This was the most difficult blog I’ve ever written. I’ve spent several days in thought about how to write it and what I needed to say.
What would you do when confronted with your own mortality?
At the beginning of the new year, I sat down and began to write my goals as a writer. One of these goals was I planned to remind myself every day that I am a GREAT fiction writer.
I wrote, I’ll convince myself that I have millions of readers all over the world who follow my work. I also wrote; instead of saying that my plans are to be a best selling author, I will reinforce that I am a best selling author. After all, positive thinking is a good thing.
I continued to read the full blog from January 2017. My fortune even said that 2017 will be an amazing year. And that I have a wise head on my shoulders. It will be full of pleasant surprises and excellent memories. It will propel me towards the success that I’ve dreamt of. And it will help me fulfill my ambitions in ways I did not think possible.
It went on to say that 2017 will be a great year for me. And it will be life changing. I had great expectations for the new year.
I didn’t know how life changing 2017 would be until one day in early May. I had stomach pains. Pain that took my breath away. I remembered something my son said when he was young. “Mommy, my skin feels too small.” This described the intense pain to the letter.
Some of you have been following my blogs for a long time and some of you are newcomers. So, as I go forth to write this blog, I thought this would be the perfect place to add a prayer.
My spiritual life is my guiding life. I have a lot on my plate, but I plan to complete my goals. Growth is good and I plan to succeed as God walks with me through the year ahead.
Dear Jesus, the road is pretty rough for us right now, and Satan keeps finding his way into our heads to confuse us. But, I banish him from my thoughts and I won’t allow him to play his dirty little tricks on us.
I know it is Satan’s way to sway us to turn our sights away from Jesus. A long time ago when the going was tough, and only a dim light was at the end of the tunnel, JESUS saw us through.
I pray that He will again show us a clear path to follow. It is true when they say, “That you can never go back.” People change, places change and circumstances change. But one thing that never changes, is knowing that God the Father, has your back.
No matter what, we are not going to give into the devil’s trickery. We are strong and we trust that God will embrace us in His loving arms and carry our heavy burden, on His cross. God is the truth and the light… Amen.
During the past two months I had not been feeling well. The ambulance came twice to transport me to the hospital. And both times I was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit.
I underwent a battery of tests, including two CAT Scans and a PET Scan. I spent a total of thirty-three days in bed. My feet didn’t touch the floor in over a month. A few days ago, the phone call we had been waiting for happened.
“Hello,” I said.
A man’s voice spoke in a foreign dialect.
“Hello, this is DR. A, may I please speak to Ms. W?”
I politely said, “Speaking.”
The doctor continued with some pleasantries and then got to the point.
“I have your test results. Would you please put your husband on the phone too, so I might talk with you both?”
I felt a lump in my throat because I knew what he was going to tell us. It was a blow, but not the slap in the face I thought it might be.
“I’m sorry, but the tests confirm that you have stage ‘four’ pancreatic cancer. The tumor is inoperable. And the cancer has spread to the liver. A few lesions are visible.”
I remember looking at my husband. His face was pale and drawn. I feared more for his well being than my own. I selfishly thought, how would he live without me?
The doctor reassured us that the best approach was to aggressively fight the cancer in the liver. The tumor was too close to some vital blood vessels and arteries, to remove. But, the positive thing was that the drug cocktail might shrink it.
I’ve always been a half full glass girl and lived by a kick-ass attitude. I’d been down this road three previous times. I fought with all my strength and won the battle. I turned my trust over to the Lord and asked for a favor.
“God the Father, Lord God, You know where my life is going. And You know how much time I have left. You also know what is in my heart. You know whether I will have the chance to live out my dreams and goals for this year. But I ask that You gift me the chance to do so.”
And then, the lyrics to the Lee Greenwood song came to mind.
“I was in my early forties with a lot of life before me.
When a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next day, thinking about the x-rays.
Talking ’bout the options and talking ’bout sweet times.
I thought about it when it sank in.
That this might really be the real end.
How does something like this hit ‘cha when you get that kind of news?
Man, what do ya do?”
Without trials, faith does not mature or strengthen. God understands our weaknesses and fears, but He also commands us to use trials as opportunities to grow our faith. In Scripture, we see many examples of people who experience adversity and lean on God.
Each one of us will experience fearful situations that God is able to walk through with us (John 16:33; Romans 8:31–39). We can learn to allow God’s Word to saturate our thoughts and use trials as stepping-stones to build greater faith that God is good and will take care of us.
I want to thank you for reading my blog. I want to thank you for moving the blog number counter forward. Maybe I will see it reach 10,000 visits with this blog. Today, the number was 9,322 viewers. It’s possible. It’s doable.
It’s said that before you die, your entire life flashes before your eyes. Lately, segments of my life have come forth.
I’m amazed with how good my life has been. I’m awestruck with my success and accomplishments.
I’ve been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I’m grateful for God’s special gifts and blessing. I’m happy with me.
Fear is our human reaction to the trials that we will face in this life, but God promises us that we can experience peace in every situation. His peace “surpasses all understanding” and will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus ” Phillipians 4:7.
Thank you for following my writing career. I’m humbled by your support. I won’t be continuing with anymore bogs. And I won’t be adding any more stories to the Reading Room.
But, I assure you that the K. Lorraine legacy will continue. I’ve been fortunate enough to have written many books. I plan to focus the time I have left and my energy, on publishing two or three more books that are near completion.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. God Bless you.
I’m signing off now,
Hugs, K. Lorraine
Posted in Commentaries, Inspirational, k lorraine books, K. Lorraine | Comments (0)
Social Media Meltdown… a quote is a quote, is a quote, is a quote
I liked this quote by one of my favorite bloggers, Jennifer Blanchard. “It’s my belief we’re supposed to trigger people and get triggered by people–that’s how we all learn and grow.”
What inspired me to write this blog, you ask? Jennifer’s quote conspired me to listen to a talk radio show. I was with my husband in the car. We were on our way to a doctor appointment. He was listening to talk radio. What else would he be listening to. Not music, that would be insane.
The radio host was talking about a recent personal attack made on him. Not a physical attack… a verbal assault. I related to his commentary. I thought, hmm. I guess I’ve finally made it to the big leagues. How did I come to determine this? Someone on Facebook attacked me. AGAIN!
But, I’m honored.
So, I looked it up online, why people attack others. It seems rather simple, why this happens.
Because the attacker interprets the other person as a threat. The attacker goes into a self – defense mode. The result is to argue back. They assume that what the other person is saying is unfair. They tend to stop listening and focus on themselves.
But, I loved a tactic designed by Virginia Satir. She calls it, “Computer Mode.”
“In Computer Mode, you talk in platitudes, generalities, and hypotheticals and avoid anything personal. Your words can even be meaningless. Nothing is more distressing than talking to people who don’t respond the way you want.”
In doing this, you signal to your attacker that you’re not going to play the personal attack game. No matter how much they want a response they can feed on. I think people attack others because there is something missing in their own lives. Jealousy, is a big factor too.
To attack with accusations is just an attempt to make them feel superior; lame isn’t it? Because of their own insecurities, they put others down to look good. It rarely works, though, as real people are perceptive enough to see through it.
It doesn’t matter what they think, it matters what YOU think. A confident person will not put others down no matter what. A confident person may use constructive criticism, but they will never put another person down.
A person’s rant exposes just how appalling and frustrated that person is with life. The problem is their problem, not yours. Knowing this can go a long way to being able to disconnect yourself from the remarks. And refuse to become involved with their rants.
That person wants you to feel bad about yourself. Don’t give them that power.
It’s useless to sink to that person’s level. That’s what they want. They want to get a reaction out of you. It’s their anger, not yours. They may want you to accept their disdain and anger as your own.
There are times when people’s comments might seem like a put down. But, remember, it’s just a remark.
Successful people focus on meeting their objectives. People who lack focus hate you. They’re called haters, and if you are successful, you don’t have enough of them. That’s right. It’s suggested that when you are successful, you need more haters.
Why? There’s a direct correlation between your success and the number of haters you have. You should love the hater, because that means you’re on the right track.
I love this quote that I ran across. “Haters are people who think they know the route to success. But they never actually get on the plane to fly themselves there.”
Successful people have their share of ‘mean tweets and posts.’ My latest social media attack went like this.
“I am again ‘hit’ by a (nameless person placed here). Accused of plagiarism. Saying that I ‘used her words’. So, from this minute forward I will stand my ground. I will still use my imagination to the fullest and I will write to my hearts content. Since I write mainly fiction at this time, I will lie. God help me, but I am laughing now. She (the nameless person) thinks that she can hurt me, but me…. I will keep on lying. Fiction is lies. “
My instant thought was… Say what? It was such a rant that it was unclear in meaning. If this wasn’t about me, and about someone else… (doubtful), perhaps there’s some truth to it. Does she lie? It’s quite possible. Besides, I don’t think I’d go around writing about how I lie when writing stories. People might not take it the way she meant. Is a lie Fiction? Or, Is Fiction a lie? Hmm. Food for thought.
This person blocked me on Facebook two years ago. I don’t know what bee got in her bonnet, but perhaps a good dousing of Raid would get rid of her problem. Criticism and hate are the price you pay for taking your business to the big time. So bring it on. I’m on the border of joining the BIG League team of writers. And I’m lovin’ it.
Haters hate because you’re on to something. You are doing big things. In a way, they are one of the greatest forms of feedback you can get. I fall on my knees and beg for feedback. So, hate me all you want. Lots of hater’s attacks = lots of success.
I agree with this quote. “Remember: They can doubt you, they can fight you — but they can never stop you. Feel free to comment about my blog. Share a mean tweet or email me to tell me my writing stinks. That’s all the more proof I’m doing something RIGHT.”
Again I say, “It’s my belief we’re supposed to trigger people and get triggered by people–that’s how we all learn and grow.” These are wise words Jennifer Blanchard. And thank you for sharing them.
Other Quotes are from John Brubaker.
Until next week.
Posted in k lorraine books | Comments (0)
There are four P’s in becoming a writer
When you are a writer, it’s essential to know your standings among other authors.
This is something that I don’t normally do. And that’s to check my ranking in Author’s Central on Amazon books.
It’s just something that doesn’t occur to me to do often. I’m so busy just coming up with topics to blog about. And then, I thought, an author’s RANKING might be interesting for my audience.
There is so much more to becoming an authentic, verified writer. We just don’t sit down and plunk away on a computer keyboard. It first takes an idea. Sometimes an idea just pops into your head. And other times it comes from an inspiration.
The next step is the idea needs to germinate and grow. I write two weekly blogs. So, I have twice the workload. And I also try to put a monthly book out on CreateSpace and in the Amazon e-book store.
The inspiration to write this blog, came from roaming around in my Author’s central page. I found it rather interesting. This is the way the Amazon Bestsellers Book Ranking works.
You need to have more than four books in your bibliography. And I do. Then they list your top three best sellers. My top three are…
Spog Goes to School (Spog’s Children’s Book Series 5)
#1, 481,785 in Kindle books store (paid) 66,168 spots today
#1, 762,106 in Kindle books store (paid) 2,557 spots today
Haunted Manor: Voodoo Murder
#1, 882,754 in Kindle books store (paid) 2,825 spots
Retailers selling your book, need to take part in the Nielsen BookScan. Your book to belong to one of the companies from which Nielsen derives its list of reported ASINs. The ASIN is the Amazon Standard Identification Number. It’s a 10-character alphanumeric unique identifier assigned by Amazon.com. The number is used by its partners for product-identification within the Amazon.com organization.
For example. If your book is a partner with the Ingram Company, you can see the sales info. If your book is Print on Demand. Your publishing company may not report ISBNs to Ingram. Thus, you may not see any sales information. It will show up as, ‘current rank unknown.’ Most of my books show this prompt.
To see sales data for Amazon sales, you must take part in one of the direct-publishing programs. CreateSpace.com or Kindle Direct Publishing. CreateSpace is an Amazon print on demand company. For this reason, sales of your CreateSpace book on Amazon may not appear. Mine does not show because I print my books on demand. It’s costly to buy books up front and then try to peddle them.
But, CreateSpace books might be eligible for enrollment with the Ingram Book Company. And then the book report sales go to BookScan. Does this sound complicated? Yes, for me anyway, it’s a lot to digest.
All CreateSpace Author members, can see a manufacturing report. This shows the volume of their books printed to meet the demand of various sales channels.
Createsapce offers five or six free channels
Libraries – I just went to my local library yesterday to drop off some promotional literature about my print on demand books. Over half my books are already in the library. But, I reminded them that they can get my new books to put on the shelves. This is because, libraries are in the Createspace channel of distribution.
Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP). Any copyright holder can publish a Kindle book on Amazon for free. Members of the KDP program have access to reporting data. The information has a weekly update.
Amazon Bestsellers Rank History
The Amazon Bestsellers Rank History page shows the best seller rank summary of all your books. The Bestsellers Rank does not include sales from any of their International websites. And I belong to a few of these. I can get my international ranking through another source.
But, the Bestsellers Rank shows books in their (meaning Createspace) catalog. The ranking system tells the author how well their books are selling. This is relative to the sales of other books in the catalog.
Sales rank is a relative measure. Print books rate among all books in the Amazon Books store. Kindle books rate among the free or the paid books in the Kindle store. Remember, this number is a comparison of your book with all other books in the catalog For example:
Spog Goes to School (Spog’s Children’s Book Series 5)
Rates # 1, 481,785 in Kindle books store. The book was among 66,168 (paid) spots today.
Beyond the Twilight Zone
Current Sales Rank: Rates #2, 732,649 in the Kindle Store.
Beyond a Kiss: Book Five; Mia Perez series
Current Sales Rank: Rates #3, 343,493 in the Kindle Store.
You might think, gosh the book ranks in the one million, two million or three million range. Yes, that’s a lot of competition. And that’s why writers are among the group known as ‘starving artists.’
It takes a lot of practice, persistence, patience and promoting in our trade to eke out a living. It also takes discretionary cash. Books aren’t free for the writer. We pay for each book with the hope we can sell them to the general public. The most lucrative way is to hold a book signing. And this avenue takes all of the (four ‘s) and a lot of cash.
You might think a writer makes a lot of money. This is a misnomer. That is, unless you’re lucky enough to sell a lot of books. Depending on the retail sale of a book. A writer’s royalty can be a few cents to maybe three dollars and a few pennies.
I call it a hallelujah moment if a book sells. I know when this happens because it shows up in my bank statement. Someone recently bought a book online through a catalog. But that sale didn’t affect my ranking. Most likely because more books in the same category sold more than my one book. I’ve even watched my ranking drop. But, I take this lightly.
On the same note, I’ve seen my ranking improve. My best educated guess is the group of books in my same genre, is selling one copy a week. And my book’s sales rate remains the same. Perhaps, even my book sold two copies in one week. So, this is an indicator why my rank improved.
Of course, it’s a two-way street. My rank may still drop even though my book kept selling one copy a week. This is why I refrain from checking the numbers. I’m not into roller coasters and the nausea I get from the ride.
Amazon Author Rank is based on sales of all your books relative to the sales of other authors. The Amazon Author Rank shows how an author’s book sells relative to other authors. Like the Billboard charts, lower numbers are better. An author with the Amazon Author Rank of #1 will only appear as an author in the top 100.
Of course, this is a dream of mine. To be listed in the top 100. But, I’ve got a lot of work to do. Amazon looks at paid sales of all the books sold by an author on Amazon.com. This includes books in Kindle too.
My author ranking is #136, 842. I consider this pretty darn good. This means that I have 136,742 more books to sell before I rank in the top 100. It’s a doable goal.
As of a few moments ago, I had 9,222 visits to my K. Lorraine website http://klorraine.com. One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to reach 10,000 views by December 31st. I’m almost there and I have seven months left in this year. ‘Hip-hip-hurray,’ for my accomplishment.
My fan base has grown leaps and bounds. I couldn’t be more humbled or I couldn’t feel more blessed. And that’s where the (P word) patience falls into play. I’ve been writing all my life. But, I didn’t publish until 2013.
It’s taken, (P word), persistence to grow my fan base. It’s taken (P word), practice to hone my skills. It’s taken learning to market my talent. And it’s taken time to (another P word), promote my books. But it’s taken a strongfaith in God’s Will and a a lot of prayers to keep the pace steady.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Until next week.
Be sure to drop by my other blog, ‘No Shoes Required.’ www.noshoesrequiredblog.wordpress.com. You can also get there by going to http://klorraine.com and click on the ‘No Shoes,’ icon.
You never know what you’ll find there. It’s fun. It’s flirty. It’s fabulous. And it’s fashion at it’s best. You never know who might show up as a guest blogger either…
Posted in childrens books, Commentaries, disabled, Fashion, k lorraine books, K. Lorraine, murder/romance, short stories | Comments (0)
An Inconvenient Awakening…
My topic thought for this week was going to be… ‘The Holy Grail of Easter.’
It started like this. The Easter bunny sent his suit to the dry cleaners. And the kiddos pretty much have eaten the good stuff from their baskets. Mom made her last batch of egg salad. But, God’s love for us never dies.This was as far as I got.
And then I read the following quote from an author I follow. Jennifer Blanchard wrote…“When you know what matters. And you’re committed to getting the results you’re after. Then, inconvenience makes no difference. You just figure it out and do the best you can.”
I really liked this quote. I was wondering at the time, should I stick with my weekly blog topic? , should I go with a new one?
But then it hit me square between the eyes after reading the quote.
INCONVENIENCE. That’s what was on my mind. It was the name of the game. And my inconvenience started this past Tuesday afternoon when I wasn’t feeling so good.
It hit rather suddenly. My husband had given me a Cadbury chocolate Easter egg. It was a sweet gesture. But a diabetic knows better than to cheat.
Um, not too smart of me to let the wafting aroma of the chocolate tempt me. I also had a half peanut butter jelly sandwich for lunch. Ouch! Was I on a caloric binge or what?
Anyway, I didn’t feel so good. And then, my arms and hands went numb. What was happening? Needless-to say, it scared me. And to top it off, my husband wasn’t home. What should I do? It seemed silly to call 911.
So, I shrugged it off. I had a book in the hopper that my editor was waiting for. I had a FREE book to finish for the May Reading Room. And not to mention two blogs due on Monday. I’m not one to let my fans down.
But, I was getting progressively worse. It was like paralysis had taken over my limbs. And yet, I pushed forward.
Ed got home. I realized that I should add acting to my repertoire. He wanted to show me some good junk he’d found at a yard sale. So shoot me! I like junk too. I followed him to the garage. Yeah, he’d bought some good stuff. Did we need it? Nope. It was just another inconvenience to clean the stuff and find a place to display it.
Later that evening, I ate dinner. I could barely hold a utensil. Was this an inconvenience? You bet it was. I still didn’t tell my husband that something was wrong. I didn’t want him to think that maybe, he’d caused it.
As I lay in bed that night. And I finally confessed. I prayed nonstop for hours that God would restore the strength back into my arms and hands.
In the morning, I was worse. My eyes wouldn’t focus. My limbs were acting like a limp dishrag. We thought a diabetic episode should be over by now. My husband tested my glucose and the numbers were rather good.
Okay, why was I almost completely paralyzed? It had to be a reaction to a new medication. I called my primary doctor and she ruled out the diabetes.
I called my cardiologist and explained my symptoms. He suggested that I stop the new medication he’d prescribed at my last visit. He figured three days would give a sign if the symptoms were related to an intolerance reaction.
He said, ”Go ahead and resume the medication on Saturday. You have an appointment in a week. We’ll go over the dilemma then.”
I didn’t complain about the inconvenience of not being able to use my hands. Was it an inconvenience? More than you know.
So today is Thursday. I finished the FREE reading room book and sent the draft to my editor. I managed to get half of May’s Amazon e- book edited too. And now, I’m plunking away on the computer board working on blog number one.
The paralysis is fading, but I still find myself typing with one finger. And whoa! The typos are plenty. So, okay, I’ll fix them tomorrow. I’m hopeful that my strength will be back in full force by then.
And you know what else? Friday, we close on a property that we sold. I can’t hold a damn ink pen. Would you say this was another inconvenience? Or, a tragedy. My fingers are so weak and numb. I’ve tried practicing my signature and it looks like chicken scratches.
I asked my husband if I needed to sign the contract? He said, “Affirmative.”
So I showed him my pen scratches. He just said, “Well, my signature isn’t much better.”
Yeah, he was right, but I used to have a nice signature. Him, not so much. He’d missed his calling as a doctor. Can you ever read a doctor’s name?
I’ve signed many books for fans… your legible signature is important. I just wanted to cry. But, I reminded myself that it has been just a temporary inconvenience.
It’s now Friday morning. I’m feeling a touch better, I think… And yet, something is not right. But what? We’d ruled out everything we could think of.
We close on the sale of a rental house this afternoon. I still can’t sign my name. Maybe I can just use my initials.
My typing is slow going with fewer errors now. No, nothing is still perfect with my daily writing habits. How can I function in a normal way when my arm and hand isn’t working like it should? But, for the past few days, I managed to get the most important stuff done. And that comes from asking the question. How can I make this work, regardless that I’m partially paralyzed?
It’s a hell of an inconvenience, but a writer’s work is never done. You see, the definition of unstoppable is impossible to stop. But, dammit, even my clicker finger doesn’t want to click. Sorry about the profanity, but Darnit wasn’t strong enough to quash my frustrations.
So, I kept repeating to myself. You’re gonna have to push through and do the writing. Your arm is weak and your fingers have a mind of their own. It’s inconvenient, but your fans are looking forward to your blogs. They are anxious to read the next free story in the reading room. Mia Perez has more to say. Her life story isn’t finished yet.
I continued to think. Is my writing career over before it’s begun? Should I hang my hat up right now, because I’ll never get there?
Harsh? Maybe. But, that was a reality I had to face. I had to get honest with myself and look at the facts. It was time to call the doctor and find out. If I didn’t step up to the plate, and do what I had to do, I was fighting a lost cause.
I don’t know about you, but I’m NOT okay with that! I wasn’t okay with not telling my stories. I wasn’t okay with not writing my blogs. I wasn’t okay with allowing my dreams to die a slow death inside me.
And to be totally honest with you. The idea of dying with untold stories not yet written, scared me more than knowing what I faced. Morbid? Yup. But sometimes it takes looking at things from a morbid perspective. I had to finally wake up and swallow the bitter pill.
So, I finished the blog. Thank goodness for spell check and grammar check. It’s doubtful that Louise could have figured out most of the sentences and words, otherwise.
Anyway, my husband helped me dress. I put on French earrings minus the back plug, and applied a touch of makeup. I feel naked without a little bling and a dab of wrinkle concealer. I thought, I’ll throw on some lipstick too. Just to add a little color to my washed out face. Whoops! The lipstick just streaked across my face. Yup, I completely missed my mouth.
The contract signing went well. My left hand steadied my right hand. I grasped the pen and with a slow, steady stroke, my name was legible enough. The thought stuck in my brain. I guess I’d better start working on using my left. At least, I’d have an excuse for the poor penmanship.
We’re now at the doctor’s office. Ed had to fill out the form. I don’t know whose penmanship was worse. His or mine… the receptionist chuckled about my comment.
Dr. Linda did her thing. She poked and prodded. She asked one question after another. She ruled out one thing and another. “Hmm,” she said. “Without a CT scan, my best guess is that you suffered a ‘mini stroke.”
Whoa! That was a shocker… but, I didn’t have warning pains? I said.
She said, “NO. There aren’t any advanced signs. A (TIA), Transient ischemic attack, is a temporary dysfunction of the brain. It’s due to a shortage of blood and oxygen. A TIA lasts no longer than 24 hours. It is sometimes referred to as a mini-stroke.”
Not good, I thought.
If you want to learn more, then look it up online like I did.
Dr. Linda then said, “The good news is, the symptoms should be gone by Monday. I want you to follow up with me on Thursday. And resume the medication your cardiologist prescribed.”
She looked at Ed and said, “It’s your job to watch her. If there’s any change, or if she does strange and unusual things. Go directly to the E.R.”
Ed smirked and said, “That’s not going to be easy. She says and does unusual things all the time.”
Never-the-less, this past week has been inconvenient. Yes, but regardless, I’m lucky and blessed with the outcome.
Others can support you and help you along the way. And the Universe has your back. But, life will always throw those inconveniences at you when you’re not expecting it.
So next time you find yourself ready to make an excuse for not doing something, ask yourself. “How can I make this work anyhow?”
And then, act on whatever answer comes up. No one can bring reality to its fruition except you.
Whether it’s an excuse or inconvenience.
Ed, I said, should we go to church tomorrow, or take the day off?
“Honey,” he said. “Let’s take the day off and just relax.”
I laughed. Well, Ed, I answered. You might just relax, but I do that every day. Yikes, did I just say something out of character and unusual?
I’ll see you next week with another tale from the crypt.
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Pounding on the keyboard… clicking the mouse
A Good Friday Thank You…
I realize that this won’t post until Monday, the day after Easter. But, I decided to write this blog anyway. The idea came to me this morning, Good Friday. I will have my editor post it on Monday, the day after Easter.
Like I do every day, I spent fifteen minutes of quiet time. This is my alone time to plan my day. I thanked the Lord for another day of hope, promise, opportunity and success. A day to receive, live and speak the Gospel. I was in a quandary what next week’s blog topic would be. And then it happened. The Holy Spirit led me to the theme for the week’s blog.
It actually started on Holy Thursday. My husband Ed and I went to a special Easter luncheon at our church. The Pastor’s topic was, THANK YOU. Not giving thanks, but the two words, THANK YOU.
This was food for thought. I started to think how lazy, we’ve become in giving thanks. Today, we do everything over the internet. We send a typed thank you note. We send cards of all sorts. We even write our letters on the computer. Little is done, any longer the old fashion way. By hand.
And, we often thank God in a sloppy, lazy manner too. But, I wanted to do something about saying THANK YOU to God the Father for giving us life.
Just saying THANK YOU, didn’t seem enough. I needed to THANK God the Father for sacrificing His only Son. It was when Jesus was nailed to the cross that brought forth our redemption. And this message made me think about my own life.
God has a purpose for everyone.“But I have raised you up for this purpose. That I might show you my power. And that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” (Exodus 9:16).
God’s purpose is the one that lasts. Each of us are born with a purpose and a calling. We have the opportunity to discover it or completely miss it. The influence of the Holy Spirit gives us insight to His purposes for us.
I thought back over my life. Like most of us, we’ve gone through stages. I don’t often think about dying. But, this morning, I did. God the Father gave me life. He chose me for a reason. I have a purpose to fulfill here on earth until the Father calls me home.
So, phase one of my life was to be the best kid that I could be. Especially as a child, hard times can make it difficult to see God’s purpose. Often times, we don’t want to see that God is working our difficulty for our good. But, with the mindset that God is working things out for us, things don’t seem so bad.
In my case, I found it hard being a kid with a disability. But, the Lord and His purposes are perfect. Yet we are not. Doubts and fears can keep us from living out the purposes that He has established for us.
Even as a child, I reached out to God. The more I learned about God, and prayed to Him, I became stronger in my trust. I started to see His purpose for me. God longed for me to start on the pathway to the life He created for me.
In Ephesian 1:11, “In Him we were chosen according to His plan. And in conformity with the purpose of his will.”
As I got older, I started to understand that I was born by His purpose and for His purpose. But, I still struggled to understand my disability. I had questions. How could I live a successful life as a person with a disability? I kept looking within myself to find the answer.
But, I didn’t create myself so how could I have the answer? It was God who directed my life. That’s when I began turning my concerns over to Him. After all, I couldn’t start the phase with the focus on me.
My disability continued to weaken me more. I started seeing miracles happening. They may have been small, but there were still miracles. My artistic talents grew and developed beyond my wildest dreams. I loved my work and delved into it with deep passion.
I felt alive because God willed me to live. I had my share of setbacks. I even turned my back on God. I went through a failed marriage. But, two beautiful children were His gift to us. Life didn’t make sense. And all roads came to dead ends.
I seemed doomed to be a failure. But why? How could a life that was so good, turn sour? I had strayed away from letting God use me for His purpose. I liked being in control. But, it says in Romans 8:6 vs. 8, “God isn’t pleased when ignored.”
I was smug. I knew I could find success if I put my mind to it. And I did, by the world’s standards. I had climbed my way to the top. I was a successful Director for a non-profit. I was well known in my community. And yet, I still missed the purpose that God created for me. In Mark, 8:35 it says, “Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self.”
I still couldn’t figure out what was not fulfilled in my life. Wasn’t I sacrificing a lot by having a muscle disease that was taking away my quality of life? I had a quantity of material things, but my heart felt starved and empty.
The next phase came without much warning. I spent the next fifteen years fighting three bouts of cancer. I prayed. I bartered with God. I wanted to give up on life. And I gave up on God. I wasn’t thinking about Jesus, my savior. I was thinking of me. Poor me…
But God wasn’t giving up on me. He sent the Holy Spirit through my husband to shake me up. He wasn’t through with me. Not yet, and neither was my husband. He said, “I know you have to do the work and go through the steps to rid the cancer. But, I’ll be with you every day, and we’ll get through it together.”
I knew it was Jesus talking to me. I was ashamed of myself for wanting to throw in the towel. My suffering was miniscule compared to Jesus’ suffering.
I learned through some Bible passages that God uses the disabled for His glory. God uses a disability to show His awesome love for all creation and to help us imitate His love. God allows things to happen for good reasons. God uses people with disabilities to inspire and advance to His kingdom.
People take things for granted. Like, getting dressed. Combing your hair. Picking up an object that’s fallen to the floor. Driving a car. Going shopping alone. Even feeding yourself without dropping food on the floor.
There are people who are blind who see better than people with eyesight. There are people who are deaf who can hear better than people with good hearing. Our momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory. And that outweighs the perfect body. God remains perfect, good, loving, kind, and just.
John 9:2-4 “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?”
“It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.”
So, on to the next phase of my life.
Proverbs 3:5–6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.”
I threw speculation out the window. There was no more theorizing, conjecture or guessing games. I went straight to the man who sat in the driver’s seat of my life. I asked the Creator of my life. The Bible said. “God’s wisdom goes deeper into the interior of His purpose.”
Revelation! I needed to hear God’s words. After all, He was the source of my purpose. God thought about me before my conception. He chose everything about me right down to the color of my eyes and hair. He chose my gender.
I was not a mistake. God chose my parents. I was conceived in His mind. He custom made my body just the way He wanted it. He predetermined my natural talents. He knew me inside out. He planned the days of my life in advance. And only He knows the circumstances and the moment of my death. And He chose my purpose.
God had a plan in creating me. He never does anything by accident. And He never makes a mistake. God’s motive for creating me was His love. God made me so He could love me. Because God is love.I no longer drift through life without a purpose. The Holy Spirit guides my way through each day. And Jesus walks with me through my day.
Once upon a time, I was a student. And then I became a mother. And then I was an artist because that was my purpose at the time. But then that purpose changed and God sent me back to school. He had many wonderful things planned for me that required a higher education. He also planned an early retirement because of more health issues.
The Lord was a focal point in my life now. But He knew I would soon need someone to be my caregiver. And that’s when He introduced this wonderful man into my life. And we married. So now we are a blended family of five children and six grandchildren.
My physical abilities have deteriorated. I no longer can use some talents that were on loan to me by God the Father. But He has a new purpose for me now. I might be living the final chapter of my life. I don’t know. But, what I do know is God has more for me to do. He’s not finished with me yet.
So, I’m off to yet, another phase of my life. I’m grateful for my relationship with Jesus. I’m grateful for my life. The Holy Spirit has gifted me with words. I write two weekly blogs. My general K. Lorraine blog, also known as ‘My Funn Stuff.’ And a new blog. I love my work…
‘No Shoes Required.’ This is a new concept blog. A blog, especially structured for women with disabilities. It’s a sharing & learning web blog. I hope you take the time to take a look. You don’t need a disability to have fun. Most women love fashion. I’m a self declared Fashionista. And, I believe that I have my heavenly Father’s permission.
So, in this new phase, my instructions are to pound on the keyboard. And click my mouse until my fingers no longer function. And then, well, I’ll just have to wait and see.
You can read more of work by visiting my website. http://klorraine.com. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Goodreads. My books are available in the Amazon e-book store. Createspace. Goodreads. Barnes & Noble and the K. Lorraine website.
Until next week,
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We’re in the throes of the Easter Season
For many people, Easter is about Easter egg hunts, the Easter bunny, candy, and new clothes. But that’s not what Easter is about. The true Easter story begins at Christmas. The Christmas story tells how God sent Jesus to this earth as a baby. Jesus was not only a man, but also God in human form. As Jesus grew up, He never sinned, which means He never displeased God.
Jesus knew that everyone else did sin. We all sin when we do things that offend God. Because of sin, we deserve to spend eternity without Him. But, God loves us. So, He sent Jesus to show us the way to spend eternity in heaven with Him.
Jesus didn’t deserve to die. But He died to take the punishment for our sins. This was His mission. Even though God had rescued them over and over, they didn’t believe He would help them. They chose hopelessness instead of faith, and they dishonored God’s name.
In answer, God instructed Moses to make a bronze snake and place it on a pole. People who were bitten and looked at the bronze snake were healed.
Jesus referred to this incident in reference to His own mission. He said that He would have to be lifted up in the same way that Moses lifted a snake in the desert. Jesus would be held up on a pole (the cross) so people who believed in Him could have eternal life (John 3: 14–15).Three days later, God the Father, brought Jesus back to life. If we believe and trust in Jesus to forgive us from our sins, we’ll go to heaven to be with Him when we die.
What does the number 3 signify?
There are so many more accounts in the Bible that the number ‘3’ appears in.
Jesus received the baptism of John the Baptist at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. He died on April 3 at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. And He was resuscitated 3 days later at 3 o’clock in the morning.
On the image of the Holy Shroud, we see a casting of blood in the form of a’3. The face of Jesus is a testimony of His death. The Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, participated in the sacrifice of Jesus.
By three times in his last speech to the apostles, Jesus prays that they become One like He and the Father are One.(John 17, 11-23)
The three great temptations of Jesus in the desert. (Luke 4: 2)
By three times in the Gospels, Jesus announces his passion.
Joseph and Mary lost the Jesus Child during three days, to finally find him at the Temple. (Luke 2:46)
Jesus fell three times when carrying his cross.
The three witnesses of the Transfiguration of Jesus: Peter, John and James. Those are the same apostles who were witnesses of his agony.
The three persons crucified on the Calvary, symbolized the three manners to accept the cross. (Jn 19,18)
The three hours of darkness on all the earth, from midday to three o’clock, when Jesus was nailed to the cross. (Mt 27,45)
By three times the apostle Peter renounces Jesus and by three times also he affirms his love for Him. (Lk 22,56-65; Jn 21,15-19)
The three terrestrial witnesses: the Spirit, the water, the blood. (1 John 5: 8)
The three theological virtues: the Faith, the Hope and the Charity.
The three attributes of the Christ: I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.
For Christians, Easter is the time when we remember what Jesus did for us—He died for our sins. He came back to life. And He is now waiting for us in heaven!
The word “Easter” does not appear in the Bible.
On Easter Sunday, Christians celebrate the resurrection of the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is typically the most well-attended Sunday service of the year for Christian churches.1 Corinthians 15:3–8
“For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received. Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures. That He was buried. That He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures. And that He appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then He appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive. Though some have fallen asleep. Then He appeared to James, then to all the apostles. Last of all, as to one untimely born, He appeared also to me.” English Standard Version of the Bible.
We know that through His suffering, Jesus, God’s only Son, paid the penalty for the sins of the wholeworld. Including yours and mine. On the cross, Jesus voluntarily bore our sins.
He laid his life down for us. He demonstrated the greatest act of love. He reconciled to God. He died to sin. He died for our sins. He became sin. He finished the atonement. He reconciled all things. He cancelled out our sin debt. He redeemed us.
Jesus responds to the positive things that happen to come his way. He minimizes the negative things that happen. What you pay attention to grows. What you ignore might as well not exist. And He has set forth clear ideas about who He is and what He wants us to do with our life.
When it comes to fulfilling your life purpose, you have to dig deep inside your heart. A power much greater than yourself created the world and everything in it. Our natural tendencies and talents are gifts from God The Father. It’s our job to discover the things we love to do.
It’s within God’s plan that we fulfill our Life Purpose and Mission. He wants us to embrace our mission as a person who dedicates himself to the happiness of God and others.
The grave stone rolled away and the tomb was empty. Men and women today testify that the risen Christ has changed their lives. “He is not here. He is risen. Thanks be to God.”
’ God, we rejoice in your power that raised Christ Jesus from the grave. Because He lives, I too live. I live today in gratitude for the empty tomb.
May you have a blessed Easter day…
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March wind is a jolly fellow;
He likes to joke and play.
He turns umbrellas inside out
And blows men’s hats away.
He calls the pussy willows
And whispers in each ear,
“Wake up you lazy little seeds;
Don’t you know that spring is here?”
I thought it might be fun to write a story using bits & pieces of quotes about the March wind. There were too many authors who penned the quotes. So, I chose to just paraphrase them.
Did March come in like a lion and go out as a lamb? In the desert of New Mexico, the answer is YES and NO. you see, the March winds are upon us here in the desert. The temperature is a gorgeous 88 degrees. But, the wind gusts range from 45 MPH and up to around 55-65 MPH.
What makes the March winds blow? Botanists say that trees need the powerful winds to flex their trunks and main branches. There is a wonderful mythical law of nature.
In the Spring, the green leaves sprout from the buds. The Spring wind draws the sap up to nourish the budding leaves. And we enjoy watching them as they flutter and shake about.
When one has faith that the spring thaw will arrive, the winter winds seem to lose some of their punch.
And the rough winds do shake the darling buds of May. The Daffodils, Lilies and an array of other flowers are in bloom. The sun shines bright with a warmth that rises with a glorious hallelujah.
The wind is differences in atmospheric pressure. If it weren’t for this rising and sinking motion in the atmosphere, we would have no wind. But we’d not have something we call weather.
Make the most of today. Our passions are the winds that propel us. Nothing will stop the truth from marching on. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into the trees.
Poems are one of the best ways to connect oneself with the imaginative world. We all know that May comes after April. And April is a month of a wild ride of alternating snow and sun. We all know that the flowers start to bloom in May, except for a few warm states where they show off every day of the year.
They say April showers bring May flowers to tell you that it’s okay when it rains. A daffodil clings amongst the downpour. April says she’s tired of it being cold. And the showers stirred up the soil. May thought that was pretty nice.
On that rainy April day. Would all the flowers turn to showers in the sunny month of May?
Life is a splendid thing, for sure. Wasn’t God so nice to make the cloudy skies? He planted all the flowers. I want to thank God for His daily blessings. And for the softest of April showers too. If it wasn’t for the gentle April showers, there wouldn’t be the loveliest of May flowers.
So, my advice is, always look on the sunny side of things. And give thanks for a fresh new Spring.
by K. Lorraine… February 15, 2016
The morning breeze sings
On the ribbons of spring air
Her love melody, gentle
Until next time… Happy reading, K. Lorraine
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FREE ISN’T NECESSARILY FREE BLOG, MARCH 27, 2017
Don’t make the same mistake that I made. “FREE”
Nothing is ever FREE… as advertised on the internet or in those email promotional ads. You know, the ads that say get it “FREE,” such as, get “FREE” makeup samples or cleaning samples. And all you need to do is fill out a simple survey.
Well, I thought, hmm, why not fill it out. I’d like some free samples of products. It’ll only take a few minutes.
Trust me, don’t do it. Thirty minutes later, I was still going from screen-to-screen answering questions. And to top it off, I never did get to the product offer that I wanted to try FREE. And then I did find something that I thought was a winner. So, I clicked on the product and here we go again. Screen after screen of redundant questions. But, this was it.
I was now into an hour of time wasted. And okay, I forgot to mention that you never have to pay postage on any FREE item.
Huh! Remember, I had already checked on a product. And I went through the entire question/answer promotional come-on. But, low, and behold, I got to the bottom of the survey and it said, “Just pay $4.95 shipping & handling costs.”
Now, I was outraged. So, I didn’t finish the FREE promotion. I logged off and went back to work. I was in the middle of writing letters of intent to Barnes & Noble. You see, I have five books ready to pitch to them in hope that the books will be accepted.
It wasn’t any more than fifteen minutes later and the phone rang. Yup, it was a telemarketer trying to get me to try sample products. And all I needed to do was answer a few simple questions.
Needless-to-say, I asked to be put on the no call list. But, the calls kept coming all day. I must have said a dozen times. “I’m on the do not call list. Please don’t call me again. I don’t want any FREE sample products and I don’t want to answer any questions.”
But, will this stop me from getting more telemarketing calls? DOUBTFUL.”
You can be rest assured that nothing in this world is completely FREE. There’s always a catch. These FREE promotions are a sales gimmick. I knew better, but I’m as guilty as the next guy. If I can have something for FREE, I’m gonna take it. But, all the great reading stuff on the K. Lorraine website, http://klorraine.com is FREE. You ask, “What’s the catch?”
The catch is, I’m building my BRAND. Offering something FREE is a smart promotional tactic. K. Lorraine is a product. I write books to make money to pay my bills. To make this happen, I need to get people to know me. And a way to do this is by offering a sample of my writing skills, FREE.
You become more familiar with the name K. Lorraine, the more times you see it in print. You become more aware with the types of books, I write, when you read one or two. You become better informed with the person behind the name, the more blogs you read about me.
I give my books away FREE in the Reading Room, to draw you as an avid reader to my webpage. As I said before, I have a ‘catch too.’ I need you to become more aware of the author in me. I write blogs & books to entertain my audience. I write because I love what I do. I write because I want to amuse you. I want to make you think…
Footnote – think about this.
I just got an internet promotional ad. “FREE” Obituary Search. You can bet that I’m not going there…
BECAUSE, I just might find myself there…
Until next week.
Happy reading, K. Lorraine
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The Dark Side of Being Different
(Beauty & the Beast)
Posted on Fanstory January 20, 2015
The story received 65 views
Copyright © 2015 by K. Lorraine Books
Graphic, courtesy of Bing Public Domain
I thought I’d change up this week’s blog up a bit.
The new movie Beauty and the Beast debuted in the theaters this weekend. “Despite her fears, Belle befriends the castle’s enchanted staff. And she learns to look beyond the Beast’s hideous exterior. She realizes the kind heart and soul of the true Prince within.”
This prompted me to delve into my archives. I remembered a short story that I had written. I found it. I thought you might enjoy my version of a take on Beauty of the Beast from 2015, Alien style.
Darkness protects us from seeing the things we would not rather see. She was gone and he needed to run or face a life of interment in the underground penal camps. They had taunted him mercilessly… He had no time to weep over his deceased mother’s body.
Oden, and his fellow aliens of Planet, Eco, were a race of giants. They weren’t particularly loathsome or terrible. They were gentle and didn’t commit atrocities, or torture innocent creatures. They didn’t try to lay claim over them in victory. They were noble, charming and indifferent. They had beautiful feral brown eyes and unruly brown hair.
Oden’s mother was an alien endowed with a mid section of enormous proportion. Her inherent absent-mindedness gave her a misfit quality. She was always in a hurry. Her large feet forced her clumsiness.
Azalia, Oden’s mother, fell hopelessly in love with Sprat. Sprat, unlike his wife, was a handsome Alien specimen. He was blessed with windswept chestnut hair that arched across his hairy forehead. His high cheekbones showed off his otherwise handsome face. His tall, slim build was deceptive. And the alien colony referred to the couple as unusual.
After their marriage, Azalia soon became pregnant. She gave birth to a defective one-eyed Alien boy. And his parents named him Oden. The alien colony ostracized the couple. Azalia had given birth to a displeasing child. He was hideous to look at.
In spite of the criticism, Sprat loved his wife and son. He did everything in his power to protect them from the harsh alien community where they lived.
As a child, Oden was violent. He used his uncontrollable nature against his peers. Azalia worked hard to teach Oden methods to help calm and control his behavior.
She read about how the Earth developed a means to tame children with behavioral problems. She believed in her love. She would find a way to protect him at all cost. She sought an appropriate environment to conquer the evil that possessed her child. She wanted to help Oden achieve inner peace.
Azalia was sure their problems would end if they moved to the Planet Earth. She said to Sprat, “My husband, our son is becoming excessively troubled. And this is causing him to lose more control. If we don’t act soon, we might lose him forever in the behavioral correction camps of the Aliens.”
Sprat answered, “Azalia, I know your desperation well. I want our son to be normal. And I sympathize with you. I understand it is your desire to make this happen, regardless of the costs. Wife, if it will help Oden, then we must move.”
He was different from his peers on Planet Eco. They had heard of the Earth’s catacombs beneath New York City.
The Planet Eco was a safe, clean and brilliant environment. The Planet’s World Leader created the embodiment of positive progressive growth. So, his parents saw fit to arrange for his transport from his home planet. And, Oden and his parents moved anyway. But, once settled on Earth, he knew he had to flee from there too, or he would perish.
They had moved to a place where the air was sour, the citizens were hungry and the water was putrid. Its citizens lived in surroundings covered in dust and filth.
Oden didn’t understand the meaning of a vision his mother had. She described a vision she had on the day of her death. She spoke of angels. She talked about the sounds of ethereal music with its beauty. She talked of vivid colors; a place filled with everlasting peace.
Oden knew the reason for his mother’s death. She had inhaled Earth’s stagnated air. It saddened him that he was now alone without his mother. Sprat couldn’t accept Azalia’s dying. He knew it was for the best to leave his son on Earth.
Sprat returned alone to his home Planet of Eco to mourn the death of his wife, Azalia.
Looking into the future seemed fruitless for Oden. He failed to see how this new World called Earth, would help him. He only saw that his life would end in death, caused by prolific diseases of microscopic bacteria. These tiny micro-orgasms lived in the wastewater of Planet Earth. He reasoned that humans had become immune to the abundant toxicity existing around them.
The earthlings told Oden, that his deformity was a punishment. The punishment was because of his parent’s prior acts. The humans called Oden a Cyclops, and they feared him because he was different.
This crushed Oden’s heart. Love was the reason behind his birth. He now realized that the beauty of love would never belong to him. The humans banished him to live his life in the sewers under New York City.
For the first time in his meager existence, Oden was cognizant of his deformity. It was a disgrace that he could no longer ignore. His wrath, hatred, despair, and anger brought forth a thousand lightning flashes. A horrid light radiated from his eye.
He used the power bestowed by his departed mother. It was a gift of her love. She left him with the power to remove the disease and pestilence from the Earth’s air and oceans. The release of the epic energy calmed his violence and his broken heart began to mend. In an instant, he absolved humanity of their stupidity. He forgave them for decimating the rain forests and depleting the world’s natural resources.
With this forgiveness, Oden was no longer a pathetic and lonely Cyclops. He forgave them for the chaos and the annihilation of the world’s oxygen.
But, in doing so, he no longer had any power. He lost the ability to free himself from the anguish of a heart that discovered brokenness.
Scion, a beautiful street dancer from Planet Eco had come to Earth.
“Go Scion. Go to Earth and do what you can to help my son.” Sprat said.
She was in awe of Oden’s reverence and humility. It was her job to show him all the excitement and wonderment of the world above, through her eyes.
“Oden, your father sent me from our planet to show you the beauty of love.”
But she was too late. Oden had already made up his mind. The hope that once lived in his was gone. His heart now only saw bitterness and failure.
She saw Oden pull his knife from his belt.
“Stop, Oden, don’t do this.”
But, her words were in vain. His full lips quivered. His chest heaved starving for air to fill his lungs. And his thoughts were drowning him. He thrust the knife into his heart. Scion’s voice went unheard, and Oden fell to the ground.
Scion rushed to his side. She offered him a drop of water. But from that orb which had been so dry, a big tear fell and moistened the earth.
She cradled the dead mutant’s head in her lap. She closed his one eye and said, “Oden, your father sent me to return you to your native world. Your purpose was to open the eyes of the citizens to your bravery and heroism. But on earth, they still hide in the darkness with closed eyes. They avoid from seeing the things they would not rather see.”
Scion accompanied Oden’s body from the underground catacombs of New York City. An intergalactic shuttle was waiting for him in the shadows of the skyscrapers. The magnificent spaceship carried Oden’s lifeless body home to a hero’s welcome.
He had abolished his hatred and turned it into a selfless act. He had given his life in the hope of saving humanity.
Planet Earth was a dying planet that once mirrored his beloved homeland. But the earthlings still were blind to the dark side of being different.
At his memorial service, Scion elaborated in her eulogy. “The gentle Cyclops left his home planet as an outcast. But, he has now come home to his native world. We recognize that Oden deserves praise for his humanitarian service. He needlessly lost his life in another world. All because, humans failed to see his inner beauty over his external beast.
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