Social Media Meltdown… a quote is a quote, is a quote, is a quote
I liked this quote by one of my favorite bloggers, Jennifer Blanchard. “It’s my belief we’re supposed to trigger people and get triggered by people–that’s how we all learn and grow.”
What inspired me to write this blog, you ask? Jennifer’s quote conspired me to listen to a talk radio show. I was with my husband in the car. We were on our way to a doctor appointment. He was listening to talk radio. What else would he be listening to. Not music, that would be insane.
The radio host was talking about a recent personal attack made on him. Not a physical attack… a verbal assault. I related to his commentary. I thought, hmm. I guess I’ve finally made it to the big leagues. How did I come to determine this? Someone on Facebook attacked me. AGAIN!
But, I’m honored.
So, I looked it up online, why people attack others. It seems rather simple, why this happens.
Because the attacker interprets the other person as a threat. The attacker goes into a self – defense mode. The result is to argue back. They assume that what the other person is saying is unfair. They tend to stop listening and focus on themselves.
But, I loved a tactic designed by Virginia Satir. She calls it, “Computer Mode.”
“In Computer Mode, you talk in platitudes, generalities, and hypotheticals and avoid anything personal. Your words can even be meaningless. Nothing is more distressing than talking to people who don’t respond the way you want.”
In doing this, you signal to your attacker that you’re not going to play the personal attack game. No matter how much they want a response they can feed on. I think people attack others because there is something missing in their own lives. Jealousy, is a big factor too.
To attack with accusations is just an attempt to make them feel superior; lame isn’t it? Because of their own insecurities, they put others down to look good. It rarely works, though, as real people are perceptive enough to see through it.
It doesn’t matter what they think, it matters what YOU think. A confident person will not put others down no matter what. A confident person may use constructive criticism, but they will never put another person down.
A person’s rant exposes just how appalling and frustrated that person is with life. The problem is their problem, not yours. Knowing this can go a long way to being able to disconnect yourself from the remarks. And refuse to become involved with their rants.
That person wants you to feel bad about yourself. Don’t give them that power.
It’s useless to sink to that person’s level. That’s what they want. They want to get a reaction out of you. It’s their anger, not yours. They may want you to accept their disdain and anger as your own.
There are times when people’s comments might seem like a put down. But, remember, it’s just a remark.
Successful people focus on meeting their objectives. People who lack focus hate you. They’re called haters, and if you are successful, you don’t have enough of them. That’s right. It’s suggested that when you are successful, you need more haters.
Why? There’s a direct correlation between your success and the number of haters you have. You should love the hater, because that means you’re on the right track.
I love this quote that I ran across. “Haters are people who think they know the route to success. But they never actually get on the plane to fly themselves there.”
Successful people have their share of ‘mean tweets and posts.’ My latest social media attack went like this.
“I am again ‘hit’ by a (nameless person placed here). Accused of plagiarism. Saying that I ‘used her words’. So, from this minute forward I will stand my ground. I will still use my imagination to the fullest and I will write to my hearts content. Since I write mainly fiction at this time, I will lie. God help me, but I am laughing now. She (the nameless person) thinks that she can hurt me, but me…. I will keep on lying. Fiction is lies. “
My instant thought was… Say what? It was such a rant that it was unclear in meaning. If this wasn’t about me, and about someone else… (doubtful), perhaps there’s some truth to it. Does she lie? It’s quite possible. Besides, I don’t think I’d go around writing about how I lie when writing stories. People might not take it the way she meant. Is a lie Fiction? Or, Is Fiction a lie? Hmm. Food for thought.
This person blocked me on Facebook two years ago. I don’t know what bee got in her bonnet, but perhaps a good dousing of Raid would get rid of her problem. Criticism and hate are the price you pay for taking your business to the big time. So bring it on. I’m on the border of joining the BIG League team of writers. And I’m lovin’ it.
Haters hate because you’re on to something. You are doing big things. In a way, they are one of the greatest forms of feedback you can get. I fall on my knees and beg for feedback. So, hate me all you want. Lots of hater’s attacks = lots of success.
I agree with this quote. “Remember: They can doubt you, they can fight you — but they can never stop you. Feel free to comment about my blog. Share a mean tweet or email me to tell me my writing stinks. That’s all the more proof I’m doing something RIGHT.”
Again I say, “It’s my belief we’re supposed to trigger people and get triggered by people–that’s how we all learn and grow.” These are wise words Jennifer Blanchard. And thank you for sharing them.
Other Quotes are from John Brubaker.
Until next week.
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